!jump

written the other dayy.. about the current boy. haha. (:

i fall too easily.
and im scared,
shitless,
that im going to get hurt..
cuz its been one hell of a ride,
my crazy life of mine.
theres been a guy who used me
and a guy who broke me.
im holding on to this, hoping this will work out,
and i'll come out of this (or stay in it)
unscathed
cause if you really look at my heart
its still repairing itself
and it still hurts..
that he's with her.
that he doesnt love me anymore.
even though im over them, the hurt is still there
ever present, never to leave.
but slowly,
you
yes you
are helping me get over this.
you dont know about any of this
that has happened to me
and i wish i could bring myself to tell you
but i'm afraid of what you would think of me.
judge me, like so many
others
have done.
i mean.. i love you so much.
i swear to God, i haven't ever loved a guy
as much as you
so should i jump? or stay where i am,
safe, never to give in to this thing we call love?
if you keep your promise
then maybe, just maybe
i'll jump