!jump

written the other dayy.. about the current boy. haha. (:

i fall too easily.
and im scared,
shitless,
that im going to get hurt..
cuz its been one hell of a ride,
my crazy life of mine.
theres been a guy who used me
and a guy who broke me.
im holding on to this, hoping this will work out,
and i'll come out of this (or stay in it)
unscathed
cause if you really look at my heart
its still repairing itself
and it still hurts..
that he's with her.
that he doesnt love me anymore.
even though im over them, the hurt is still there
ever present, never to leave.
but slowly,
you
yes you
are helping me get over this.
you dont know about any of this
that has happened to me
and i wish i could bring myself to tell you
but i'm afraid of what you would think of me.
judge me, like so many
others
have done.
i mean.. i love you so much.
i swear to God, i haven't ever loved a guy
as much as you
so should i jump? or stay where i am,
safe, never to give in to this thing we call love?
if you keep your promise
then maybe, just maybe
i'll jump

use ur imagination

i dont think i'll ever forget about this... once again, written a good while ago.


imagine
being lied to
being used
being set up
for a permanant heartbreak.
i am so confused
sometimes,
when i think about you and what we had.
was it all just a set up?
was i truely the rebound girl,
the one you used to get her back?
its killing me that
your next to her,
not me.
and that your truely alright
while im left here
fighting for my life,
while you dont even know.
you once told me you kissed her
and regretted it
was that a lie too, did you do more than just that?
you claimed u hated her
that she broke your heart, and youd never want her back.
..that i was the best thing you had ever had.
bullshit.
i was much better off before i met you
all you did was cause more drama..
and you promised
you promised me
that wouldn't happen.
i didn't need more drama.
and you knew that.
but i got caught up in your lies,
your fony texts,
your cute i love yous,
your beautiful eyes,
and unforgetable goodbyes.
i should of seen it coming.
i loved you so much, and i thought u loved me too.
how can u sleep at night, knowing you hurt a girl this much?

never!

hah. this oneee.. eh. maybe you can figure out who this is about. lol

believe it or not,
but i had the hardest time
completely letting go of you.
even though
i didnt love you like i usedto,
i still loved you like the bestest friend a girl
could ever have
and i know you could never live...
with just that.
people are people
and sometimes things have to change.
i never wanted this
i never wanted to hurt you..
i wish i could show you
what still runs through my mind;
missing you, even though
i've
moved
on
you are the only thing
that i still know like
the back of my own very hand.
i wish there was some way
to let you know
that i lost something too;
the greatest experience a girl could ever have
and the most amazing ride
of her life.

you're the boy

haha. its about kyle. i wrote this agess ago, jsyk.

you're the boy
that everyone wanted to love,
until they knew the real you.
luckily
i watched a friend
go through hurt,
pain,
sadness,
of a broken heart
and learned my lesson.
i look back
and wish, only sometimes
that we had a chance.
but i remember my friend
everytime
i think of you
and how she learned to hate you
over time
so i think i would too
if we ever got a
real
chance
at "us."
we came close.
but then i realized that
friends will be there
when those dumbass males
are not.
i talked to you today
for the first time in days
and for the first time in forever
im not falling for your ways.
love may be the best feeling in the world
but its the sweetes form of
torture
and the most painful kind of
happiness.

valentine

i had a dream the other night. totally irrelavant (idk how to spell:P) and it kinda.. inspired me to write this haha..

Valentine
I see you walk down the hall towards me, smiling, and i get the worst case of butterflies. Your pretty blue eyes and bright illuminating smile could light up this whole town, and your hugs could cause any girl to love you like i do. Little do you know, you are constantly on my mind, ever to leave a trace that you were there.
Do you know you were unlike any other? I dont ever want to love another.
You embrace me in a much-needed hug, kiss me on the forehead, and whisper in my ear.. "Hello beautiful, where have you been all my life?"
I smile and say "right in front of you.." I lean into kiss him on his lips, but...
I wake up from my foolish dream,
leaving me
wanting more.